Rock Lee Beeber
by scriptease
Summary: When a certain teenage, megastar, heartthrob comes to Konoha, chaos and outrage ensues, and Rock Lee finds himself on the centre stage of it all.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything related to Naruto and stand to gain no profit from any material in this fic.

**A/N:** Rated M for a reason.

**Rock Lee Beeber**

By scriptease

Chapter 1 - The Show Must Go On

Guy Sensei tapped his foot, scowling in discontent. Neji didn't let impatience get the better of him and channelled his energy into meditating instead. Rock Lee kept busy, counting his one-arm, one-finger push-ups into the thousands. And Tenten, well, Tenten was the reason Guy looked ready to open the Eight Gates on someone, anyone.

"She's over an hour late." He grumbled. "What could be more important than hard work and maximizing the power of youth?!"

"Nothing, Guy Sensei! You're right!" Rock Lee exclaimed between push-ups, never skipping an opportunity to praise his mentor. "She must've got lost on her way here. It's the only reasonable explanation."

Neji begged to differ. "This is the same spot we always –"

"Yes! That must be it, Lee!" Guy cut off the Hyuuga before he could point out a flaw in their logic. "Lee, I know I can trust you to find her and bring her back so we can commence our training."

Springing to his feet, the devoted protégé saluted his master. "I won't let you down, Guy Sensei!"

Guy flashed his infamous nice guy pose, teeth sparkling with a ping.

Neji sighed.

Rock Lee turned the task into an exercise, power walking his way to Tenten's house. The female member of Team Guy wasn't home. He remained optimistic. Truckloads of energy left to burn, he sprinted to Ino's house in hopes of a clue. Not only did he fail to find a clue, he failed to find Ino too. More house visits revealed both Hinata and Sakura could be added to the tally of missing females. It wasn't just Tenten's friends. Rock Lee raced through the whole of Konoha and didn't spot one female resident of any age or caste. It was obvious what had occurred...

A girl-eating monstrous ghoul had infiltrated the village at the dead of night and swallowed Konoha's entire female population!

Rock Lee frothed at the mouth at the prospect of fighting such a formidable foe. Anything capable of wolfing down Lady Tsunade was a worthy adversary in his book. He was ready to update his mission objectives when he heard the murmuring of a crowd huddled around a poster. Amongst the shinobi he recognized were Naruto, Kiba, Shikamaru and Choji.

"What's going on here?" he asked, poking his head over the shoulders in the crowd. The flashy poster paraded a prepubescent-looking boy pulling a strained facial expression as if he were caught mid-singing. Glitter surrounded the name 'Dustin Beeber.' "Who's that?"

"Some stupid pretty boy the girls can't get over," said Choji, crunching his potato chips as if he were crunching the boy's skull.

"Tch. I don't see what's so special about him," said Shikamaru.

"That's because there isn't anything special about him," said Kiba.

Naruto ripped the poster off the wall. "He looks twelve and sounds six! Konoha's gone mad, dattebayo!"

"Wait," said Rock Lee. "So that means all the girls are..."

"Trying to buy tickets to his show," said Choji.

"So you mean there's no girl-eating monster after all?" Rivers poured out of Rock Lee's eyes.

Walking upside on his hands, he was on his way to inform Guy Sensei of Tenten's probable location when he came across a normal-sized Sakura and a much shorter Sakura. At first, he thought all that walking upside down might've affected his vision, but when he stood the right way up, the two Sakuras continued to make his head spin.

"This is my little cousin, Blossom," said Sakura, squeezing her tiny shoulders. "Blossom, say hi to Lee. He's a good friend." But the sad little girl continued to stare at her feet. Sakura sighed. "She and her family came all the way to the Fire Country to see Dustin Beeber perform live. But apparently Dustin's been hit by a nasty bug. Chances are they're going to cancel the show if he doesn't get better by tonight. I don't know how to cheer her up."

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan! The show will go on!" But not even his thumbs-up and nice guy pose could elevate their depression. Sakura was disappointed because she couldn't do anything to help the little version of her; it was no good being an exceptional medical-nin when you couldn't even make it past Dustin Beeber's stubborn security team. Rock Lee hated seeing his friends miserable, especially Sakura-chan. He had no choice but to do whatever it took to restore her buoyancy. Her smile would be reward enough. He knelt down in front of Blossom and lifted her chin. "I promise you, little one. Dustin Beeber will perform tonight."

Her little eyes glimmered with hope.

"You shouldn't make promises like that," said Sakura. "I know you're only trying to be optimistic but it's out of our hands."

"Not quite," said Rock Lee. "You can thank me later!" He zipped off without explaining a word.

When Dustin Beeber's security guards denied him entry, the aspiring Taijutsu master punched and kicked his way past them. Sakura could've just as easily made quick work of the celebrity's big, clumsy sentries, but her respect for authority kept her tame. Rock Lee apologized to every man he knocked out, ensuring them he was a nice guy and meant no harm. He fought his way up the flight of stairs and kicked down every door in the luxury hotel until he found Dustin Beeber's room. Sickness paled the singer's sweaty face as he lay bedridden with an ice pack on his head and a thermometer sticking out his mouth.

Rock Lee dropped to his hands and knees, bowing his head down before the bed. He pleaded with Dustin Beeber to find the strength to overcome his illness. In a faint voice, the singer insisted he was trying his best. Not good enough, thought Lee, who recited one of Guy Sensei's persuasive pep talks. When that failed, he tried to bargain for one song, then one chorus, then one line. Dustin shook his head. No, no, no. Nothing was going to make him well enough. However, impressed by Rock Lee's tenacity, the boy wonder pointed at something across the room.

Rock Lee followed his finger to a wig resting on a faceless bust. The mop of hair shined a bronze-gold colour, exuding rays of light brighter than the sun, shimmering with a special kind of chakra Lee had never felt before. He knew at once that the magic of Beeber lay in that wig.

"Put it on," said Dustin.

"What?" The wig intimidated Rock Lee. "I wouldn't know the first thing about you. I can't sing. They'd find me out in a hurry. They'd –"

"Don't worry. There's nothing to it. The wig will guide you."

"The wig will..." He eyed the mop of hair. "Guide me?"

Dustin sneezed. "Do you want the show to go on or not?"

Rock Lee challenged the wig to a staring contest, but they both knew there could only be one answer to that question.

...

Naruto grumbled. "Why are we here?"

Shino looked around the pool of girls and young women they were submerged in. "Naruto asks a valid question. Why? Because we're the only males in the entire vicinity."

"Both of you quit your yapping," snapped Kiba. "Don't you want to find out what the big deal is with this Dustin Beeber guy? Or are you just going to let him take all our women?"

"Ha! Like Sakura-chan would want anything to with that girly phony," Naruto scoffed.

"Hinata wouldn't show any interest in him either," said Shino. "Why? Because she has better taste in men...even if it is Naruto."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

Kiba let out a sarcastic laugh. "Well, I'm not taking any chances. Hinata's not getting anywhere near that guy!"

"How are you going to stop her though?" asked Naruto. "For all you know, she could be anywhere in this crazy crowd."

Indeed, the girls had come thick and fast to worship the teenage heartthrob in person. Kiba couldn't move an eyeball without bumping into one fangirl or another. The stadium was packed well over its capacity, filled to the nosebleed seats and beyond; girls and women alike were happy to sit on top of each other if it meant they got to catch a glimpse of Dustin Beeber. Suddenly, the lights went out. The performance was about to start. Screams and shrieks took to the air in budding anticipation, but when the stage lights came to life, and Dustin Beeber made his first appearance, the stadium absolutely erupted.

The boys weren't sure they could protect their eardrums from bursting even with both hands cushioning the deafening squeals. Naruto thought Dustin Beeber's green spandex looked oddly familiar, though he couldn't quite place where he'd seen them before. The squeals only intensified when the singing started.

'_If I was your ninja, kunai is what I'd throw_

_Stronger than a farm girl, taijutsu's all I know_

_I can be a shinobi, anything you want_

_If I was your ninja, kunai is what I'd throw, kunai is what I'd throw...'_

"Man, I could write better lyrics with my hands tied to my ass," said Kiba.

"Why? Because the song lacks any depth," said Shino.

Kiba smirked. "This guy sucks ass, right...Naruto?"

'_Swaggie!'_ exclaimed the blond ninja.

Kiba and Shino watched in amazement as he bopped his head to the tune booming through the arena.

All the girls swung their panties in the air as they sang along, and by the end of the first song, the singer had been buried in a mountain of undergarments.

Insane.

The crowd went nuts when Dustin hit high notes only Akamuru should've been capable of hearing. Spectators wept and fainted in bliss. Kiba couldn't help think the kid's singing would make one hell of a jutsu. Security had to spring into action to prevent overzealous fans from reaching for Dustin's legs. The keener members of the audience were not satisfied with just enjoying the boy's sensational voice anymore, and eventually, their fanaticism overthrew any protection the guards could provide. There was simply no stopping thousands upon thousands of Beleebers.

A stampede broke out.

Herds of screaming fangirls trampled over one another in an attempt to rush onto the stage. Shino pre-empted the chaos and instructed his bugs to a form a bird, large and steady enough to raise them to safety. Kiba jumped on board in the nick of time. Naruto, however, had been too busy jiving to Dustin Beeber to take note of the plan.

Millions of little Beleeber feet flattened him to death.

Not even Konoha's savour stood a ghost of a chance against Beleebers united.

...

Rock Lee couldn't Beleeb the power of the wig. The chakra embossed within it released intense pheromones the female populace could not resist. In addition to smoothing and enhancing his voice, the wig impressed upon him lyrics he couldn't stop himself from singing. The superstar scurried backstage as security lost control of the crowd. Rock Lee tried everything humanly possible to pull the wig off, including shutting it in a locker and yanking his head back, but the enchanted mop of hair stuck to his head with more resilience than his natural hair would. He didn't have time to weep at his misfortune as the stampede of fangirls stomped down the dressing room door. The little monstrosities flooded his private space in droves.

No way out, except up, and even then he couldn't climb into the vent quick enough to prevent the Beleebers tearing a shoe off his foot. A catfight broke out amongst them over who deserved ownership. Fearing it would only be a matter of time before they all followed him up there, he crawled through the narrow passageway with no particular interest in where he was going – just as long as it was as far away as possible from them.

Rock Lee dropped into a men's bathroom after triple-checking it was empty. He found comfort in the fact no one in the crazed troop was allowed inside. A huge sigh of relief left his lungs as he sat on the toilet contemplating a plan. Then, he heard the door creak open.

He muffled his own shriek and lifted both feet away from prying eyes. His heart picked up speed with every echoing footstep approaching his cubicle. Despite his attempts at remaining anonymous, a pair of combat sandals poked into the space beneath the door. As the intruder shouldered their way in, he cried out in terror, hugging himself tightly.

"Tenten?" His composure returned to him, even though his teammate was acting a little strange. "Boy, am I glad to see you. To think, this whole thing started when I came looking for you. We should head back to Guy Sensei now and..."

Tenten squealed. "Dustin Beeber knows my name!" Her eyes transformed into big pulsating hearts.

"Tenten, I'm not really –"

She silenced him with her lips. His urge to speak out ended as soon as he opened his mouth. Her tongue breached his defences and explored every corner it could get its electric tip on. Her advance shocked him straight, eyes frozen wide in disbelief. He had always assumed she'd prefer to do these sorts of things with the less goofy, more respectable member of Team Guy. Neji, of course, never showed any signs of reciprocating whatever interest she might've had in him, which in a baffling way, only made him even more attractive. Never in a million years could he have anticipated this kind of attention from a girl. As her soft lips pressed against his, Rock Lee wondered if he hadn't dedicated too much time to training and too little to women. He could definitely get used to kissing.

She pulled back for breath, stealing his away.

"_Swaggie,"_ he exhaled.

His lips parted, inviting another kiss, and Tenten leapt at the opportunity to get another taste of her idol. Their mouths combined in a slippery embrace, rubbing on, against, around and inside themselves. As they frantically delved into each others' throats, he made up for his clumsy inexperience with a feverish appetite, swallowing her every moan. Her boisterous grasping and clutching forced him to stumble onto the toilet seat. She lowered onto his laps and wrapped her arms around his neck before slipping her tongue back into his lonely void. Her lust suffocated him, hot, passionate, steamy. He pinched her neck with his lips and she threw her head back as his soppy muscle dabbled on her sensitivity. He could feel the waves climbing up her voice box against the surface of his tongue.

"Dustin...Beeber...Oh, Dustin," she moaned.

Rock Lee groaned in annoyance. Here he was thinking he'd gotten one over Neji, only for his female teammate to submit to a different name. He didn't want to be Dustin Beeber. Murmurs, and bustling hands and knees in the ceiling, alerted him to the dangers approaching. An unsatisfied Tenten barricaded the exit, wrestling him from escape, but he muscled his way out of the prison, tumbling out of the cubicle seconds before a bundle of fangirls dropped in from the vent.

His arms flew back in the wind as he scurried down the hallway. All of a sudden, a side door flung open and an arm tugged him into refuge.

The ground-shaking stampede charged past the inconspicuous door, none the wiser to the target leaning against the opposite side, heart racing in trepidation. Relief washed over him as the squeals and footsteps tapered off. He looked to thank his saviour, but when he whipped around, nothing but empty space awaited his gratitude.

"Hello? Anyone there?" A set of eager hands yanked his waistband down to his knees. He shrieked, throwing his hands over his exposed crotch. The blonde kneeling at his feet looked up at him with hearts beating in her eyes not unlike Tenten. "I-I-Ino-san, what are you doing down there?"

"You're so talented, Dustin Beeber! I want to show you how talented I am too!"

She tried to pull his barricade of hands away but he stayed firm. Not that it would be enough to stop a true Beleeber. She gnawed on his fingers until they recoiled out the way, and then fondled his sack with an icy, delicate touch, rolling his testicles between her fingers.

He squirmed. "Y-y-you shouldn't b-be doing that, Ino-san."

"Doing what?" she asked, innocently, stroking his member awake. She wasn't joking about her talents. Her expertise hardened his staff in a matter of seconds, and with every inch he conceded, her grin spread an inch wider. His phallus resembled his frame in size and shape, growing tall and slim from a fluff of black curls. She let his full length rest alongside her nose, blocking her eye as it extended past her head. "Wow, Dustin Beeber! You're a lot bigger than you sound! What is it, nine, ten inches?"

"_Whatever you want_," he sang.

"Mmmm, is that right?" She squeezed the base of his cock and worked her way up to its tip, heightening his arousal every step of the way. Excitement bubbled on the head of his penis; it was clear for her to see, and touch, spreading his cool precum around in circles. Her thumb taught him just how sensitive his crown could be. Appreciation fumbled out of his jittery lips. Ino had built up a reputation amongst the boys, and her candid behaviour should've come as no surprise, but he never thought he'd make her list of playthings; she still had standards after all. If he couldn't catch her eye as Rock Lee, then why not Dustin Beeber? Pretty face, blond hair, blue eyes, athletic body; why shouldn't he claim a piece of that? Rumour had it everyone else was. Besides, he'd take one Beleeber in this room over the thousands waiting for him out there. He folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes.

"You like that, do you?" she purred. Her grip jerked the pleasure out of his lungs. "I can't believe I'm holding Dustin Beeber's dick in my hand! I never want this moment to end. You can be my boyfriend." She spat thick globs of lubricant on his shaft and her fist smeared the cold heat up and down his length. The introduction of her tongue lifted him ten feet off the ground. Her lips pinched him over his crown before she leaned into his crotch, coiling her pink grip around his girth, lapping up his sugar-coated cane. The hard suction hollowed her cheeks, drawing him in like a vacuum, sucking his breath away.

"_Swaggie..._" He panted. Maybe being Dustin Beeber wasn't so bad.

The singer's instrument popped out of her mouth. She looked up at him with pleading blue orbs. "Fuck me in the face, Dustin Beeber." She slapped herself across the cheek with his cock. "Fuck me in the face, Dustin Beeber!" Her demands doubled in menace. Pressing against his thighs for support, she forced more than half of his length inside her, and jerked her head up and down in a tireless rhythm. "I phed, phuff me in fa fhayff, bhusbin veever!" she exclaimed with a mouth full of cock. Her aggression frightened him still. He could only watch her wolf down his manhood like a vulture, fighting her gag reflex as it curved into her throat, fighting the strain watering her eyes. She sure loved her some Dustin Beeber.

As she fiddled around her panty-less crotch, her desperation sprinkled all over his bare foot, and she intensified her head movements, gargling down more and more of his cock, imploring the boy wonder to pound her face in. Rock Lee preferred to respect his companions, and sometimes even his foes, but the insatiable blonde made it harder and harder to retain his core values. Respect was the last thing on her lips. He didn't feel so bad about grabbing fistfuls of her blond locks and delivering the ill-treatment she begged for. His thrusts threatened to spear right through her cheek, screwing her head sideways and her mind inside out. Ecstasy dyed his face pink as he barged against the walls of her moist cavern, again, and again, and again. The harder he banged her face, the louder she moaned. He could feel his body start to tense, and he was sure he'd have filled her stomach to the brim if the door behind him hadn't unexpectedly opened.

Rock Lee stumbled out of the room. Ino looked furious about losing her precious cock. Before she could shout her complaints, the gatecrasher shut the door in her face and locked her in, leaning against the barrier as the blonde banged on the other side for release.

"Hinata-san!" exclaimed Lee. He fumbled to hide his indecency which had shrivelled quickly in the presence of the Hyuuga.

"It's okay, Dustin Beeber-sama," said Hinata, a soft flush on her cheeks.

It was refreshing to see someone sane in all the chaos, even if she was a little awkward. "Thanks for getting me out of there," he said, although his lower hemisphere was aggrieved at being yanked away from release.

"I was only doing what anyone else would. But, if you'd like to show your gratitude...maybe you could do something for me."

"What's that?"

"Um." She shuffled her feet, shyly. "My sister, she's a big fan...and...I know she'd love it if you can sign something for me."

"Ah!" He gave her a thumbs-up. "No problem. It's the least I can do. One autographic coming up from the one and only, Dustin Beeber! Where do you want me to sign?"

Hinata unzipped her lavender jacket and let it fall to the floor.

His jaw hit the ground after the shiest girl on the planet exposed herself without so much as a flinch. Tenten and Ino were one thing, but Hinata too? She was easily the most reserved of the kunoichi, and if not for the devious toxins in the damned wig, she'd never discard her modesty so frivolously. Ogling at her now was no better than taking advantage a sensible girl in an altered state. The humble, compassionate Hyuuga deserved no such exploitation, and yet, not even superglue could keep his eyes shut in the wake of the bountiful treasures unearthed before him.

The timid kunoichi yielded larger-than-life tits, eclipsing anything her peers could ever hope for. Her jumbo jugs boasted a personality of their own, and unlike the quiet girl supporting their weight, they hung loud and firm, full of volume and budding confidence. Hinata usually buried her assets in baggy clothes, which was a shame, albeit understandable, given the number of boys and even men who'd never leave her alone if they knew her big secrets. At the rate they were growing though, he doubted she'd able to hide them for much longer. Knowing Hinata, Rock Lee wouldn't have been surprised if he was only the first or second guy to catch a glimpse of her boarded up breasts. The rarity of the occasion made it all the much harder to turn a blind eye.

She scooped up the underside of one fleshy mound. "Dustin Beeber-kun, please sign here..."

He blabbered in panic. "Hinata-sama, I don't know if I can, if I should -"

"Please! I'll help you..."

His boner wouldn't have stayed down if he'd tied an anvil around it. Hinata knelt and took advantage of the hard situation, making a hot dog out of his sausage, enveloping her large buns around him in invigorating, circular motions.

"Hinata-sama...they're so soft...I never thought I'd get to..."

"Dustin Beeber-kun,never say never."

Despite his regret at invading the clouded girl's space, the groans trickled out of his mouth, for and against the pleasure she massaged around him. Listening to his arousal inspired her own. She began to pluck and screw her receptive peaks, enjoying the space he filled moving in and out of her chest. Her airbags cushioned his thighs as he crashed into her bust, wedging his cock up her cleavage, jabbing at the base of her chin. Ino pounded on the door and threatened to kill the bitch that had stolen her Dustin Beeber, but they could barely hear her venting over their hot moans. He clamped his hands on Hinata's small shoulders, holding her steady against the blunt force of his pumping. The squishy friction set his loins on fire.

"Hinata-sama, I'm gonna...!" A low, prolonged drone reverberated in his throat. He steered his cock like a hose, zigzagging his release as he autographed her face and tits in steamy, white ink. The sight of the innocent girl drenched in sticky cum prodded at his guilt. "Hi-Hinata-sama, I'm so sorry, I should've controlled myself better." He bowed over and over again in a show of deep regret. "Please accept my humble apologies. I –"

"There he is!" A voice called out from down the hall. He whipped his head to the side and saw Kiba directing an accusing finger his way, backed by a mob of incensed shinobi. "Look what he's done to Hinata!"

Rock Lee waved his hands and backed away. "No! I can explain!"

"GATSUUGA!"

The whirlwind attack whizzed an inch past him, claws burrowing into the wall he'd been standing beside a second earlier. He had no hope of reasoning with the crazed army. Blinded by rage, they failed to recognize one of their own, and with the wig clamped firmly on his skull, he had no choice but to flee.

A gang of shinobi were after his head. A litter of fangirls were after his body.

Rock Lee didn't know where to turn to next, but wherever it was, he was sure he wouldn't like what awaited him.


End file.
